Clearing the Way: Intentional Practices to End the Year Strong and Start Fresh
Fall. Somehow, I moved quickly into this season - realizing that in a couple of short weeks, Dec 1 will be here.Followed by, you guessed it - Christmas a few weeks later and then, of course, Jan 1. This doesn't always happen for me - that feeling of quickness into a season.
This time of the year prompts me to do a 'Year in Review,' a multi-phase process.
I've already done two massive home cleanouts to donate to the people of WNC, (most productive cleanouts in my life) but in November, I started the most important phase- my desk. Here is where much of my personal and professional development takes place (on paper at least), except for the real-life applications known as Pith Instruction in Buddhism. Many of the people I work with as a coach understand the real-life results they get when they take their learnings off the paper.
So beyond the semi-organized areas where I've collected books, journals, files, and other things, which I'll ritualistically go through and reorganize, one of the most significant areas is my walls that display quotes, mantras, manifestos, and other guidance to keep me on track.
I'll clear those walls during this process, making space for the new. This clearing is cathartic and an act that transcends this purpose. If you've not heard of this or need a reminder of that purpose, it is when you are feeling stuck, and it can be in any regard. Often, it is because you still need to make space for the new, for the next thing, for the next person or pet. For example, during the grief of my mastiff, I held onto his belongings, of course. I've never reused items of my kids (furkids) for the next. Too much sentimental value is in them, so I typically donate them. I finally let go of the very expensive memory foam beds he grew up and grew old on. Defying my own logic and frugal / budgeting nature. It was very soon after that my eyes caught the gaze of another kiddo, and more accurately, my heart opened to be able to welcome another dog into my life. I, of course, saw other pets during the year of grief, but I wasn't ready to take the next step. So whatever you are sitting in, try that lens on to... lift the cloud, if you will.
I'll go into detail on these key strategies (in this series) to close out one year intentionally and prime you or allow you to open up and lead yourself into a new year.
One new strategy I am doing this year is a no-complaining practice. I plan to extend it or engage it throughout the year for various periods, but for now, I started with 14 days to one month, giving myself a bit of grace with it at first, and it is working out well.
"Start where you are."
It was a detox for me, and I really mean that. Complaining can mimic the properties of a chemical toxin - bleeding into many facets of your existence. Regardless of how 'justifiable' the reasoning may be to complain, I am choosing not to.
Don't get me wrong- there is value, we'll say, in brainstorming, problem-solving with others, or the occasional vent release, but those differ slightly. There could be some overlap here, but for most of this, I'm really choosing not to expand the field of infection and to limit the infection within myself. THAT is the ultimate reason for participating in this practice, to limit my suffering.
As with most personal development and how I often talk about success or well-being, you must define your own criteria here, for complaining.
What does it look like?
What content could it be about, or whom is it about?
How does it sound?
What to do if you unconsciously start to but then consciously catch yourself complaining?
What triggers might cause you to begin complaining? (Think about smokers- as someone who kicked the habit many years ago, the car was a place where I had to implement a new habit to prevent me from enacting the old one. I chose to sip on water.) In regards to complaining it may be taking a call from your best friend on a stressful day. I'm more likely to get caught in a complaining tailspin where I feel safe expressing my dismay.
Does 'bitching to yourself count?" (Having that internal dialogue about a situation or person annoying you matter; again, think about your suffering and that suffering lasting longer than the mere moments it takes place. That could be a level 2 practice, once you've controlled the external word vomit. Again, all of this is for you to decide.
So there you have it an entry point to close out the year and start anew (beyond simple resolutions). There are three steps to take action after reading this.
Wrap your mind around the end-of-year review process. This mental workout is, in fact, an action to prime you and begin sifting through your home, your life, and who you are as a person.
Begin clearing. Even without any further guidance, you can begin to declutter. Digitally, emotionally, physically - just start somewhere.
Define and begin your no-complaining practice. As we enter the holidays, I hope it will bring you more enJOYment.
